5 months

Today marks five months since Corey left this world. Literally more than a lifetime, in her case. There have been a few opportunities for us to attend "grief and the holidays"-type meetings, but they didn't seem quite right. Most people there would likely be dealing with the memories of Christmases past and how to cope without that person being no longer in the picture. I imagine that's very difficult. I lost my dad a few years back, but since we hadn't celebrated Christmas in Wisconsin for several years (and by then, most of the fun and tradition had been sucked out of the occassion, at least in my mind), I don't really miss him at Christmas. Corey and Christmas is more about what we were looking forward to. You can imagine. Maybe time has painted everything rosey, but I remember this time last year as being very joyful. The excitement and anticipation of our coming twins was electric. This year, I feel unstable, at times overcome with sadness, other times its anger that seems to come from nowhere. Still, Kate keeps us smiling. Each day she's the ray of hope and sunshine.