Row, row, row

Kate's starting to sing now.

Tiny Dancer

Some of you may know, we've been making it a Sunday evening habit to take Kate to play in the fountain at Butler Park, then take her over to the Long Center to have a picnic and to hear a free concert by the Austin Symphony. Last night we got a nice video of Kate dancing to the music.




And then, she saw the Sun Chips...

June 15--Father's Day

The first Father's Day without Corey was bittersweet. Kate's such a doll, it's hard to be sad when she's around. I did read something in the paper that upset me, though. An editorial dealing with the holiday. This excerpt in particular:

The word "father" (Latin and Greek "pater") goes back to a root meaning "protect" — the ancient Greek word for "shepherd" comes from the same root. A father's role, etymologically, is to respond to and look out for children within families. Children ask of fathers today what they have asked of them for thousands of years — that we be with them and care for them.

That's one of the hardest parts of losing Corey. Despite all the self-talk to reassure that there's nothing anyone could have done to save her, deep down I feel that I failed in that most basic duty of protecting her. And it's hard to look at Kate and tell her that she'll be safe, that you'll protect her, when you know it's not always possible.

BTW: the hat in the picture says "Superdad". Kate knows just what to get me! The hat was marked down to $3 from $5, so we *had* to get it. This morning I noticed the reciept on the counter, and for some reason, the hat actually rang up at $.08! Maybe that was Corey's contribution?

Look who's talking?

She's got a few "words" now. The best, though, is "outside".

A Girl of Many Talents

You've got to see it to believe it.

And she's off!

Since Sunday, Kate's been trying out walking. Mostly with coaxing, but sometimes on her own (of course, we only have a camera when we're coaxing, not at the spontaneous moments). It's fun, and she's definitely proud of herself and knows she's done something special when she manages to get from point A to point B.

BTW: this video starts kinda weird because I had the camera on the floor since Kate wanted to hold my hands to start. However, once I hit the "record" button, she was flying solo!!

Kate and Corey

Two interesting things happened over the last couple days. Call them coincidence, if you wish, but I like to think differently.

1. On the girls' birthday, Dad (me), Mom, Grandma, and Kate were looking at the videos I took when the girls were less than an hour old. Kate was mildly interested in her own video, but she really paid attention to Corey's. And when Corey was making little cooing noises, Kate started talking back to her. Made us all cry.

2. The next morning, Kate was looking up to the place on the mantle where the box with Corey's ashes sits, and she was waving.

It does make me wonder--how much does Kate remember of Corey? We'll make sure Kate grows up knowing who Corey was. I just hope she'll not just know Corey in such an abstract sense, but that she'll know Corey in her heart, as well.

1 Year

Yesterday was Kate and Corey's birthday. Kate got to be with mom and dad, grandma and grandpa, and Uncle John. It started with a trip to the doctor for her 1 year check up (healthy; 19.75 lbs, 29.25 inches; had a couple shots), then a loooong nap. Afterwards we went to the park down by Town Lake and she played in the kids' fountain, then went to the Oasis to watch the sunset. Lastly, home for some presents and cake, which she loved once she actually put it in her mouth and figured out it was good stuff!

Corey was with us in spirit. Mom and dad cried a bit off and on. We did see a beautiful butterfly in our garden, so we figured that was Corey sending us a message to say she's OK.

March 12, part 2

Of course, we can't forget the one who gets us through it all...

A messy face, a buncha teeth, and a great laugh!

March 12

Time's quickly approaching for the girls' birthday. People have asked whether this is especially hard (or have just said "this must be especially hard). No offense, but "duh!" On the other hand, it's no worse than any other day. The milestones you can brace yourself for; it's the unexpected little things that sneak up on us that are often the hardest. Tonight Tessa pulled out an alphabet book that her sister had made for the girls before they were born. It sort of got lost on the shelf, one of those keepsake gifts that we didn't really want the girl(s) drooling on or tearing at. Well, in that book, "V" was for "Verse", and for that page Tessa's mom had written a sweet poem for the two girls. *That* just killed Tessa--I cried, and I didn't even read the poem! It's when we accidentally slip back in time and touch that feeling of sweet joy and expectation at what the future held, innocent to the pain that lay ahead, that floors us. I know "N" is for New Zealand, someplace we'd hoped they'd both go some day. "M", of course, is for "Minnesota"--we didn't even have to hope for that one, of course the girls would be going there some day! Of course they'd meet "U", their Uncle John, or "C", their cousins. The things you take for granted... All so very depressing.

Feb 20

Priceless!

Kate's getting more and more fun every day. She's very good at climbing the stairs, and has even gone down a couple. She's eating lots of solid foods (green beans, crackers, cheese sandwiches, bagels). Soon she'll be walking, we think. She's a very happy baby, smiling often, and laughing lots at us, the dog, the cat, her daycare friends, etc. She also likes to growl at stuffed animals. It started with a bear she got for Christmas, but has moved on to include most of her fuzzies. We think she's starting to associate the "Dddduh" sound with her daddy and "mmmuh" with her mommy. And a "huh" when she waves hello. She's definitely giving hugs, and presses her mouth against our cheeks in what we figure to be a kiss.

Her first birthday is less than a month away. Seeing all this makes us miss Corey (what doesn't?). We often think about what she'd be doing, what her giggle would sound like, how much hair would she have. Maybe she'd be walking now. God only knows, literally. We're thinking that as we buy gifts for Kate's birthday, we're going to keep track of how much we spend, then put an equal amount into a check to First Candle as Corey's present.

Work's been pretty stressful lately, but seeing Kate's smile in the morning (photo above) and picking her up from daycare in the afternoon makes all that stress vanish (ok, mostly!). But losing Corey has definitely put things into perspective for us. Whatever project we've got going at work is just not worth staying late or working weekends when you've got a little girl who wants her mommy and daddy.